Now this is our boast: Our conscience testifies that we have conducted ourselves in the world, and especially in our relations with you, with integrity and godly sincerity. We have done so, relying not on worldly wisdom but on God’s grace. For we do not write you anything you cannot read or understand. And I hope that, as you have understood us in part, you will come to understand fully that you can boast of us just as we will boast of you in the day of the Lord Jesus. - II Corinthians 1:12-14
Even the Apostle Paul sometimes dealt with imposter syndrome. Often it came up because others were questioning his motives or his wisdom. In the passage above, he feels the need to confirm that he’s good with what he preaches and how he preaches it. He doesn’t try to convince his readers, he just says that he knows where he stands.
This is super helpful to me. I am a convincer. I want to make sure others know what I know and believe what I believe. Even to the point of hearing my own arguments in my head when I’m alone. But that is not what I am called to. I fully believe that the work I am doing is a calling and that the Holy Spirit leads me in it. But when I come up against opposition, I am often tempted to convince the opposer of my value or the value of my words. But I don’t need to. I am created by God and led by God to live in His love and grow His kingdom in my corner of the world. Even typing those words makes me calmer. And the opposer is responsible for what he believes and how he behaves. It is not my job to correct or convince. Conviction is the job of the Holy Spirit.
And let’s be real. A lot of what I perceive as opposition is built up in my mind and not really wholly intended by the person I feel threatened by. It has for sure happened that I’ve taken something someone has said and made a big thing about it in my head (I call this process spinning) by going over and over what they said and how I would have liked to respond. But of course I didn’t think of all these amazing responses in the moment, so I’m creating them later in imaginary land. When I have these imaginary conversations, it changes my perception of the person who hurt me, usually for the worst. But if I pray for them and the situation, it quietens the imaginary conversations, encourages a real conversation or frees me to let go of the situation entirely.
The real point here is not about the other person at all. Its about value. I don’t get my value from others. So I don’t need to be concerned about other’s perceptions of me. Whether I live into this truth or not relies solely on the depth of my relationship with Jesus. There is no amount of self-help or willful discipline that will give me this contentment. I need to be deeply moved by the love of Jesus for me. I won’t be convinced without spending time with Him.
Today, after reading about Paul’s conscientious conviction, I went for a walk and just rested in Jesus’ love. Sometimes prayer isn’t about talking, its about being quiet and letting Him love you.
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever. – Psalm 23
I hope you find time to rest in Jesus too this weekend. I recommend diffusing lavender & lemon EOs for a fresh, calming blend while you pray.
Just a note about the current deals with Young Living that I mentioned in the last post. The Diffusers & Welcome Home Bundle are still available (while supplies last) and of course the gifts with purchase will expire on March 31.
The $10 product credit that Young Living gifted me to share with the first new purchaser this month is still available. We had a new purchaser already but she didn’t contact me first so I could transfer it to her account so she got $10 cash and I still have a product credit to share through the Young Living website. So if you’re going to be the one that wisely makes oils an essential part of your life, contact me first by replying to this email or texting me.
If this impacted you in some way share it with someone you know! Bless everyone reading this by sharing your own experience in the comments below.