Strengths

The Lord has been talking to me today about accepting who I am - who he has made me to be. He’s given me strengths and limitations. He’s blessed me with gifts that I don’t always live into. He has made me different than those to whom I might try to compare myself. I don’t need to do a deep dive into what all my gifts and strengths are (again). But focussing on them and accepting what I am not is where I struggle.
My body inhibits me. I have medical issues that limit how physically strong I am and therefore restricts what I can do in my garden and around my house and in my life in general without paying a physical price. I find this very frustrating and often feel that its unfair. Because I have visions for my home that I want to accomplish on my own. I hate relying on others to help me and I feel weak when I say I can’t help someone else.
I have also been raised with a very strong protestant work ethic. I tend to operate out of a belief that if we don’t spend 90% of our day physically doing things, we are wasting time. I’ve also been jealous of people whose life work is reading, thinking and talking – that sounds like a constant vacation. But they exist and its reasonable to think that the Lord has called them to the work that they do. And I’m pretty sure its not actually a constant vacation. 😊
But I’ve spent more time this year reading, thinking and praying then I ever have before. And its been good. But when I started to get busy with projects a few months in, I firmly believe the Lord caused me to trip and break my arm so I would stop and keep still and listen to Him. That was a painful lesson that I don’t want to repeat. But yet I still have so much I want to accomplish and I get frustrated that my body doesn’t cooperate.
Struggling to accept help (or ask for it) is a control issue and comes from a desire to present myself as strong enough. But working within my actual strengths and accepting the contributions of others is actually what God calls me to. Strength isn’t just a physical thing.